Be Mine!

Valentine's Day was always fun as a kid. You spend so much time choosing the right cards for your class. Then you carefully read each message and choose the right friend to give it to. When party day came you couldn't wait to open the envelopes (back then they each had an envelope) to see what your friends gave you. Those little cards were very important. As I got older, it was just another day in February. It wasn't until I was a junior in high school that I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Honestly, I remember I got a gift, but I couldn't tell you what it was. I did a mental erasure of that guy!

My senior year I was dating Maddy on February 14. We had our "official" first date on February 1, and had only been talking since January 19, so it was a pretty new relationship. Imagine my surprise when I received a delivery of a gift with balloons attached. Normally that wouldn't be a big surprise for Cupid day, but what was on one giant balloon was. Apparently the flower shop didn't pay attention to what Maddy ordered and just made an assortment. So in my bouquet was a three foot balloon with hearts and roses that said "I Love You". I really didn't think too much about it, but Maddy was not happy. He didn't want me thinking he had those feelings yet. Through the years that big balloon was a source of much teasing. It always makes me smile just thinking about it.

The flowers Maddy got me for Valentine's 2018.

Much to do is made about Valentine's Day, and lots of money is spent trying to show how romantic either side can be. Where I was excited as a child, as an adult I am more practical about the day. Maddy used to spend lots of money on flowers to be delivered to work for me. While I appreciated the gesture, I finally told him to save his money. I've never been a roses girl; carnations are more my taste. I told him he could go to Walmart and pick some out for me. In fact, I told him if he picked me up flowers on a regular day it would mean more to me than on Valentine's. Sometimes we went out to eat, other times he grilled us a steak dinner. A couple years we spent a night away, just the two of us.

I didn't go into my marriage with blinders on concerning my husband's romantic tendencies. I did think that maybe I could teach him what would be the "right" things to do or say to me to show me how much he loved me. Let's just say he was not the best pupil! Even though he didn't do the typical romantic gestures, I always knew he loved me. He cherished me and protected me as best he could. There were many subtle things he did to show me how he felt. He always walked on the outside when we were going down the road. He did things with me, even though I know he didn't want to. He held me when I cried. He made me laugh at the silly things he did. Our marriage was a top priority in his life, although I think fishing was becoming a close second. To me, that was more important than candy or flowers on a day in February. True love should be celebrated every day.

This will be the first year without my forever valentine. Since we didn't make such a fuss over the day in the past, it won't be painful this year. Of course, having parent conferences until 9:30 that night will help keep my mind off things, too! Probably more than anything I'll have to rein in my jealousy. Seeing others with their loves evokes more emotion from me than I care to admit. I don't begrudge anyone of a happy relationship, but it makes me miss mine. Fortunately I have another who loves me unconditionally. He loves me enough to die for me. I will still hold tight to His hand and let him guide me through these tough days.