Can a Sand Dollar Make Change?

I'll never forget that trip to Jamaica. It was my first time on a plane, my first time to use a passport, our first and only zip lining adventure, and our first major vacation without children. We decided to go big for our twentieth anniversary.

The water was gorgeous and the sand was beautiful. Even though Maddy wasn't big on swim trunks (too many sunburns), he did enjoy kayaking out and looking for shells. We found many sea anemone shells, small shells in a variety of shapes, and a large conch shell. Maddy used a creative method to remove the living creature from that. When we got home I realized there was a hermit crab in one of our shells. I wonder if I was supposed to claim that at customs.

My prized find from that trip was a fully intact sand dollar. I had never seen one in person and I never expected to find one! I treated that delicate souvenir like a new baby. I cradled it close on the trip back to the room. I made sure it was not piled with the other shells. When we packed to go home. I wrapped it in gobs of toilet paper for cushion and placed it in a separate area in the bag.

When we got home and unpacked I was brokenhearted to find that my sand dollar did not survive the trip in one piece. I joked to Maddy that I now had three sand quarters, a sand dime, and some sand pennies. Undaunted, I gathered all the pieces that were salvageable and arranged them on the shelf of our headboard to recreate my treasure as best I could. Even though it was broken and missing pieces, it was still valuable to me and I was going to protect it.

As the years went by and things were moved for dusting, my little sand dollar became even more broken. I still pushed the pieces as close as I could to keep it together as much as possible, but it seemed inflation was hitting that as well. My sand dollar was now more like a sand sixty-seven cents.

This is what's left of my precious sand dollar.

A few days ago I pulled the covers up to "make" the bed (don't judge) and somehow I moved my sand dollar. A few bits fell from the shelf onto the bottom area and created even more sand "change". As I tried to put things back to rights, I realized how my life is so much like that sand dollar.

The past two years I've been pushing the broken pieces of my life back together, trying to get it as close to the original as possible. I'm missing an important chunk and there are smaller gaps where once it was all intact, but I'm doing the best I can with what I have. Just when I have my pieces where I want them and come to terms with the fact that this is what my life is going to look like now, my "shelf" gets bumped and those pieces move. Sometimes it's just a small push and the damage is minimal. I quickly figure out how to restore order. Other times I think a clumsy oaf tripped and fell causing the "sand dollar" of my life to crash to the floor. For me that oaf was named Cancer.

No matter how many times my sand dollar falls, cracks, or breaks, I will continue to put the pieces back together, however many pieces may be left. To me, it is still beautiful and represents a wonderful memory. The same can be said for my life. No matter how many times it seems my life is falling apart I will gather all the pieces and do everything in my power to keep it together.

I also know that the glue that is going to help keep those broken pieces together is God. I could not come close to putting my life back together without Him. I wouldn't even be able to pick the shards up off the ground by my own strength. I ask for His strength and wisdom daily. I can't do this alone.