Dear Maddy,

Do you remember the excitement you felt when you received a letter in the mail? Maybe it was from a distant relative or a friend who moved away. My girls loved getting cards from their grandma, and she only lived a mile away. The art of letter writing is a dying form. It's much easier and faster to use email or text. There's just something special about seeing the words of loved ones written in their own hand. I have several that I have saved through the years. My most precious are the ones Maddy sent when I was in college.

There has probably been someone in your life that has now passed on that you wish you could communicate with in some way. Maybe you want to make sure they knew how you felt or ask advice about a decision you need to make. Perhaps you want to share a funny thing that happened or an accomplishment of one of your children. After my mother died, many times I wished I could've called to ask her about a recipe or family history.

I have thought about many things I would say if I could just somehow get a letter to Heaven. One thing I don't have to ask him is if he knew I loved him. In fact, I used to ask him if he ever got tired of hearing me tell him. Of course, I always told him it didn't matter because I was going to say it anyway. Love was never a question in our relationship. I also don't have to find out if he is in Heaven. That's one fact I know, and it brings much peace to my heart. So, what would I say? Perhaps the letter would go something like this...

Dear Maddy,

I'm not sure why your time came so soon, but I'm not in a position to question God. I always told you when you left to come back to me. You always said you would do your best. I guess this time it was out of your control.

I'm glad I paid attention to a lot of the things you did around here, but I have so many questions! What in the world am I supposed to do with all that stuff in the barn? You were so happy to get those new power tools this summer. I'm glad you taught me how to use some of them. Now I wish we would have gone ahead and cleaned the barn out earlier in the summer instead of waiting for cooler weather. I sold the camper. You know I couldn't pull that, and I definitely couldn't back it!

I wish you would have written down all the things I needed to know if you weren't here. I figured out how to winterize the well, with help. I got the hoses put away. I'm not sure when to fertilize though. I guess I'll have to ask someone. I remembered that you added water to the heat pump if it started to have a smell. I just didn't pay attention to which pipe you put it in. I found the heat and air guy's number in your phone and gave him a call. He graciously helped me. I'm doing my best to figure it all out.

I miss your arms around me making me feel better. I really needed that when Pepper died. I always told you that you could reduce my blood pressure by just touching me. The calm you gave me is greatly missed. Sometimes in my mind I still see you standing in the bathroom shaving or hear your computer hitting the counter.

More than anything right now I'm trying to live in a way that honors you and would make you proud. I want people to see my faith leading me through this tunnel to the light on the other side. I want everyone to know how we lived our life together, how we loved each other, how you cherished me, and how a marriage can be truly happy.

I hope you keep busy until I see you again. I'll be there when my job here is done. Save a place for me. I love you more!

S.