God Gave Me You

Every story has to have a beginning. Whether it's, "Once upon a time...", "In the beginning...", or "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...", the opening of a story is important, as it sets the tone for the rest of tale. If the reader or hearer isn't hooked at the onset, they will move on.

The story of a life, or love, also has to have a beginning. Some are mundane or ho-hum, some are extraordinary and hard to believe, and others lie somewhere in between.

This is the saga of the birth of a great love...mine. Before you decide to quit reading, give me a few paragraphs. This story is filled with humor, drama, disappointment, joy, and a whole bunch of God.

To tell the story of Maddy and me I have to go back a little farther - not "God created dirt" far, but a little over a year. The backstory helps you understand how much God had a hand in our beginning.

October 1984, Junior year in high school

I was not what you would call "popular" in my younger days (or older days). I also didn't have many dates. Not too many guys want to go out with a six foot tall, plain, nerdy girl. At this point in my teens I had had two boyfriends, and I'm not sure the first one really counted. In our little town kids spent most of the weekend nights "doin' the drag", which means driving your car in a loop from Sonic to United Supermarket all night long. On one of those nights I had taken a friend home and was making one last loop before heading home myself. During a turn I happened to see a pickup with three guys. The driver was pretty cute, but I didn't have time to see anyone else. I went home and continued my boring existence. Monday at school a friend asked if I had seen the guys in the pickup because one of them wanted to go out with me. Shocked is too tame of a word to describe how I felt in that moment. Of course since I only saw the driver I assumed that was the guy in question. Well, you know what they say about assuming!

A couple days later I got a call from the guy in question, who was, in fact, not the driver. Being inexperienced in the ways of dating, I agreed to go out with him even though I had never seen him. We decided to go to the movies on Saturday after I worked at the Letterman's Halloween carnival. A couple days before our date he came into the shop where I worked. I didn't feel any spark or connection, plus he called me Sandy, so that was a strike against him.

Saturday night came and he picked me up at the appointed time. He had just gotten his pickup painted, so we pulled into a parking lot where his friends hung out to show it off. He got out but I chose to stay put. I'm not sure that was a good idea. It seemed every one of those guys stuck a head in the door to stare at me like I was on display at the zoo. Yes, the date was going well.

We made it to the theater and the movie was playing. (I don't even know what the movie was!) I spent most of my time trying to decide how bad it would be to say I was going to the restroom, but leave and walk home. I only lived six blocks away. In the end I decided not to go that route.

Before going out I had made a deal with my best friend. If she saw me and it looked like I wasn't having a good time, she was supposed to act like she was drunk and I would have to drive her home. As luck would have it, as we left the theater my friend pulled in across the street and jumped the curb. (A risky move since it was in front of the sheriff's office!) Of course, I had to drive her home. He was going to follow us because he didn't know where she lived. We formulated a plan to lose him. After pulling into a convenience store for gum, I waited to pull out until only I could make it. We took several back roads to her house, switched to her dad's vehicle, then she drove me home - going through the alley. She went straight home and called me (remember this is before cell phones), letting me know that when she left the alley he was at the house behind mine.

You may have an opinion on my behavior that night, and I can tell you I wasn't proud of it. I chalk it up to immaturity and lack of experience.

He called me several times over the next few weeks. I didn't answer the phone and my brother said I wasn't home. If he saw me drive by, he shouted some not so nice words at me. I didn't blame him. I know what I did was horrible.

You may wonder why you had to read through that awful tale when Maddy was nowhere in it. Remember, I said the backstory was important.

November 1985, Senior year

Fast forward a little more than a year. I had dated a guy for nine months and it didn't end well. I decided I was done being the good girl and going along with whatever anyone said. It was time to assert myself and stand up for what I wanted.

A few months earlier my best friend's dad had been in an accident at work and was in the hospital in a vegetative state. I had done my best to keep her spirits up, and we decided to go to a dance that was being held at the fairgrounds. During the evening I couldn't find her. I was told she was out in the parking lot talking to the guy I had gone out with the year before. I decided I needed to get her away from him so I marched outside on a mission. I stood back a little bit while she talked to him. He was in a Bronco with really dark tinted windows and there were no lights outside. I finally got her to come in with me and the night went on. I didn't think much about it until a few weeks later.

New Year's Eve, 1985

The day after that dance my best friend's world fell apart. They were supposed to bring her dad home to care for him, but instead he passed away in the hospital. We had decided to go out New Year's Eve to try to have a little fun. That morning, John, the guy I had gone out with, called my best friend and told her that the guy that was with him in the Bronco wanted to go out with me. (Remember, I've played this game before.) The story I heard later was that he told his friend that I said I wanted to go out with him. I never saw another guy in there! They decided to meet up while we drove around that night. We were supposed to find a pearl pickup. Now, if someone told you to look for a pearl pickup, what color are you watching for? Well, we kept looking for a white one! We never saw them and went on to a party. She found out later that they were in a black pickup with pearlized blue on the bottom!

January 1986

A couple weeks went by before I got the nerve to pull over where John and his friend were parked. This was the night that changed my life forever. This was the night I met the guy that I thought was tall, blonde, and gorgeous. This was the night I met Maddy! He called me later that week and we talked for two hours. Anyone who knew Maddy couldn't believe he talked that much. He asked me out for Friday, but since I was in a basketball tournament I couldn't commit. He tried for Saturday, but I had the same tournament. He asked for the next Friday, but I had a game. Exasperated, he asked if I would ever go out with him. I told him I'd pencil him in after I washed the dog. Remarkably, he didn't hang up. We ended up settling on the next Saturday.

That basketball tournament didn't go well for us, so we didn't play Friday night. Another friend and I ended up riding around and stopped to talk to Maddy and John. We decided to ride around together, so I parked my car behind a church and got in with them. Later, John took my friend home and I stayed with Maddy. When he took me back to my car, we noticed someone had shoe polished some not-so-nice words on it. (Probably the exboyfriend!) After talking for awhile, he followed me to the car wash and cleaned my car for me. It was late and cold, but he's out there spraying my car. I knew he was special then. I didn't get home until after 2am. Mom said, "If you do that again you'll be grounded." The next day we played early in the day, so I was riding around again. I ended up with Maddy again, but this time I parked where I could keep an eye on my car. Again I came in at 2am, and again, Mom said, "If you do that again you'll be grounded." When it happened again the next Friday night, she didn't say anything!

We finally had our first official date on February 1, 1986. It was the first of many spanning the next thirty-two and a half years. We dated four and a half years and were married 28 more. Until the last day, I still got a smile on my face when he called or texted me. I was still giddy like a teenager!

Now, remember that back story? In my wildest dreams I would never have guessed that the guy I ditched on a date would be the guy to set me up with my soulmate. I have always said that God is the only way Maddy and I met. He was older, went to a different school, and had a different circle of friends. Our meeting was divine intervention. Apparently God knows what he's doing. (By the way, to this day John is a dear friend. We've done things through the years, he took the pictures for my daughter's wedding, and was a pall bearer for Maddy's funeral. I will always have a special place in my heart

for him.)

When I first heard the song "God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes, I told Maddy that is exactly what happened to us. God gave me someone for the ups and downs, to stay with me through the storms of life. You will never convince me that God didn't throw us together. I will always be grateful for the people God used to complete His plan.

Our love was not a fairy tale, but it was the deepest, truest thing I've ever had in my life. I still feel that love and connection even though he's been gone over two years. That kind of love doesn't die.

John, if you are reading this, please know that I have always felt horrible about that night. I don't know if I ever apologized, but I am truly sorry!