Summertime Blues

Thinking back on childhood, the best part of the year (besides Christmas) was summer. It didn’t matter what the date on the calendar said, the last day of school was always the first day of summer. It meant your days were easier. You could sleep late. You could have fun with your friends. You could go swimming. You could do whatever you wanted.

Growing up, I longed for those lazy summer days. As I grew older, summer also included working a part time job, but there was still time to hang out with friends and work on my tan.

As fate would have it, I became a teacher, so those days of counting down to summer vacation never stopped. Like every teacher, I was excited to see the day come when I didn't have to set the alarm and put on real clothes!

Once I married Maddy and we had kids, summers became even more special. Along with the aforementioned summertime pleasures, we also celebrated several dates during the summer. His birthday is in June, Father's Day followed closely, and our anniversary is in July.

This year I celebrated his birthday by going to our favorite restaurant with my daughter and thinking about when we went together. Father's Day was very emotional for me. Scrolling through everyone's posts on social media about their dads or how wonderful their husbands are at being a dad made me jealous and I finally had to shut it off. I'm happy for others, but at the same time I am so envious. I'm not looking forward to my second anniversary without him.

Because my job followed the school calendar, summer was when we could take vacations. Every year we went somewhere, even if it wasn't far. Depending on finances, we would take a few days or a couple weeks and see the sights. When we got our first camper we went all over the USA. The last three years we took trips without the girls. Those were wonderful for our relationship.

As I travel the highways and interstates I see RVs going by and I wonder where they are headed. I feel a pain inside knowing that used to be us and I won't have it again.

This is also the time of year that "outside" work is done. That meant Maddy was mowing or doing other yard maintenance. Unfortunately, that now has become my job. I'm not as good as he was and I definitely don't know how to maintain the mower or water well!

Summertime used to be fun, adventurous, and laid back. Now it's emotional, hard work, and lonely.

I know time will help me replace some of my summer traditions. My new grand baby has helped bring some smiles back and given me a different adventure. We plan to take some family vacations, though this year has been difficult with coronavirus, cancer, and a newborn.

Hopefully, I can find a cure for these "summertime blues", and bring back "those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer".

Until then, I'll put on my shades, take care of business, and live this life I've been given.