Sweat the Small Stuff

One of the most often said cliches is "Don't sweat the small stuff". I know, for the most part, it means to not worry about the little things. I have to admit that I have a severe dislike for this phrase. My response to most is, "The small stuff will turn into big stuff." This comes from years in education and parenthood. I have seen children not be corrected for smaller behavior issues, then they keep misbehaving since they didn't get in trouble. Before long the behavior has escalated to major infractions.

I think you should "sweat" the small stuff, but my meaning is a little different.

Mom and Dad at my wedding in 1990

Life is in the small stuff. The best times are the little moments. When you think about your mom you might think about her cooking or reading to you. Maybe you remember how she smelled or a phrase she said repeatedly. Perhaps you keep her advice close to your heart. You might remember your dad showing you how to do something or his mannerisms. I will always remember my dad teaching me how to change a tire. I completed every step under his watchful eye. Of course, when I was done I told him it wouldn't matter because I couldn't get the lug nuts off after he tightened them!

Alison loved her Elmo!

We remember our children’s "firsts" like walking, words, or smiles. Their little milestones along the way to adulthood are tucked away in our memories. I remember my older daughter's obsession with Elmo, complete with an Elmo CD and stuffed red monster that was as big as she was. I can still hear her singing "Elmo's Song". All of the "stuff" that comes with having a child is not what we recall. We don't frame pictures of the crib or high chair. Parents cherish those fun, goofy, and sweet memories.

Those seemingly insignificant moments in our day-to-day living are what become the bulk of our lives. Whether you are sitting on the couch watching TV, playing games as a family, sitting in church, or just sharing stories of your day, the time you spend with each other is special.

I hold dear the little things Maddy and I did together. There were great and wonderful moments too, but it's the small details, like our shopping trips out of town or my shooting lessons, that always bring a smile.Years ago I told Maddy I didn't need any "stuff" for holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries. I wanted to DO something. I wanted to make memories. We might go to an OKC Thunder game and spend the night for our Christmas present. Several years we went camping for my birthday. Keep in mind "camping" involved a fifth-wheel with electricity, plumbing, and a king-sized bed! We took the boat and went fishing, walked around the park, and sat outside talking. Many of our anniversaries were spent while on vacation, most of the time with the kids. We still made it special. Those times were more valuable to me than any jewelry or extravagant gift.

Our moments together are the things I miss the most.

Time is such a fickle thing. We think we have lots of time to spend with our family and friends. We say we will get together "later", but we aren't guaranteed a later. We make plans for next week, next summer, or after retirement, but many times life gets in the way and we have to postpone or reschedule. I had big plans to travel with Maddy after my retirement. I'd made a list of places and events I wanted to experience with him. Even though I grieve the lost of those future moments, I am so glad I have all the memories of the time we spent together.

I've learned to make time for what - or more precisely who - is most important in my life. I've tried to make more time for the "little" things like helping a friend, talking to my daughter, or eating with my brother and sister-in-law. I guess in that instance I have been working on "not sweating the small stuff" - like laundry or cleaning the house.

My life would not have changed if Maddy had taken just one more step. I only needed 2 more seconds for my normal life to keep going on. I will never take the small stuff for granted. Live for the small moments of life!