The Big "C"

When I was in school I was a good student. I made As and ended up as a valedictorian for my graduating class. I never wanted to see a C on any of my papers. As I've grown older the letter C has come to mean a little bit more. I went from a "G" initial to a "C" when I got married. My younger daughter's name begins with a C. But the one C word I never really liked crept its way into my world.

In 1998, Maddy was diagnosed with testicular cancer. We were fortunate to have caught it early and overcame it with minimal treatment. In 2015 his mother found out she had ovarian cancer. After a courageous battle, she passed away in 2017.

I haven't been too concerned about cancer for me because I don't have a family history. I've been more worried about my girls since they have it in the three generations before them. Well, like it or not, I guess I need to be concerned now.

Back in March I made an appointment to see the doctor because I needed a refill on a prescription. I'm a pretty healthy person and don't have to visit the clinic much. Honestly, I was a little miffed that I had to go in during flu season for a non-illness matter. I just needed an antibiotic for my acne caused by rosacea. I figured if I was having to pay a copay I might as well get my money's worth! I brought up several little issues I had been having. One of those was some pain in my left breast. I thought it was from sleeping on it wrong. She did an exam and felt a small bump. A diagnostic mammogram with an ultrasound was my next step. That led to a biopsy after a suspicious spot was found. Throughout all this I have done my best not to fret. Probably the biggest anxiety came before the biopsy because I didn't know what to expect.

A week later (this morning) I recieved a call from my doctor. I expected her to tell me it was nothing. We don't always get what we want. She told me I have lobular carcinoma, level 1. When I heard carcinoma I immediately sat down. I knew she was still giving me information so I had to shake out of my stupor. By the time our conversation was over I felt nervous but hopeful. I'm now waiting for a specialist to call.

I sent texts to my tribe who knew about the biopsy, then went back to cleaning the bathroom. (That's what I was doing when she called and I couldn't leave it half done!) In the next 30 minutes I had the support of an awesome group of friends and family.

I began to think about this whole process and realized this was not a fluke. It wasn't by chance that I made, what I thought was, a meaningless appointment. It wasn't luck that made me mention my breast pain. God's been with me this entire time. With this global pandemic you might think this is not the best time for me to have to go to the hospital, but not so! Since most things are closed, my friends and family are available to help me if and when I may need it. My first grandchild is being born this week. Maybe this is not the best time for me to have to do this. But, if I can get this kicked (and I will!) before August I can be good to go to babysit as planned.

I don't know what God's plan is for this, but I know He has one. He always does!

Right now this is what I know:

* This is nothing compared to what I've been going through the last 20 months. I would take this over deep grief in a nanosecond.

* Apparently God wants me to have an AWESOME testimony.

* God's got this and He's got me!

* Faith overcomes fear.

Your prayers are appreciated and welcome. I'll keep you updated on this new journey.