What's in a Word

Welcome to a new year! Today starts 2020 and 366 days of new opportunities (We get that extra day thanks to the leap year.)

These are the days when people reminisce about the year that's ended and look forward to the year ahead. There may be regrets about decisions made or feelings of pride over triumphs achieved. Plans are made for the year to come and goals are set. We remember major milestones in our lives, whether good or bad.

Traditions have had a place in new year celebrations as well. Some people kiss at midnight for luck. (Personally I've celebrated with the foreign countries whose midnight is early afternoon here. Midnight is a lot later the older you get.) Many people eat black eyed peas and other foods on January 1st for luck during the new year.

Making resolutions seems to be the most popular tradition people follow. Some may resolve to lose weight or get in shape. Others may vow to work less and spend more time with family. Many promise to get more involved in worship.

A trend I've seen in recent years is to forgo making resolutions and choose a word to focus on throughout the coming year. This word may help reach a goal or be self affirming. The word chosen may serve as a reminder of a truth in your life or inspire you to live your life for others. Some examples include cherish, simplify, discover, and gratitude.

I didn't choose a word for 2019. When the year began I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I suppose my word would have been "survive". As the year comes to a close, I think the word to best describe the past 12 months would be "remember". I've spent lots of time remembering Maddy, both personally and through various ceremonies. The official memorials should all be over, but my daily memories will be with me forever. I've told many stories about him, many no one knew about until now. I've listened to others tell about him and share memories of their own. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him; I could almost say it happens every hour.

So as I look ahead to the new year, what might be my "word"? After some thought and reflection I decided I'm going to focus on "healing". I've been working on that for some time, albeit slowly. I've had good days and hard days, but the good days are becoming more frequent. I've decided to focus on the joy of life.

The first weekend of December I attended the National Fallen Firefighter Winter Family Retreat and Tree Lighting at the Memorial Chapel. This was the first event I had participated in besides Memorial weekend and I wasn't sure what to expect. The NFFF has many programs to support fire hero families throughout the year. They provide opportunities for all ages and relations to get together with other people who "get it". During this retreat I met spouses, siblings, and children of fallen firefighters who shared stories, laughs, and advice. We made ornaments for those honored at the 2019 memorial weekend and placed them on the trees, saying the name of each one aloud. Through my time there I felt more grounded. I listened to people experiencing the same things I am. I came away with an inner peace and realization that everything is going to be okay. I think this is the beginning of my healing.

If you've had surgery, a broken bone, or deep cut, you know healing can take time. The amount of time depends on the severity of the wound. While the initial wound may scab over and hurt less, the scar remains and aches still happen. Emotional healing is the same. After the initial pain, residual scars and twinges will be felt for years.

As I begin a new year I'm going to focus on my continued healing. I know I will never be completely whole again, but I'm going to work on lessening the pain and making the scars less visible. Just like physical therapy helps strengthen and heal, I will do my best to keep moving forward and do what I need to do in order to heal my heart and soul.

What word symbolizes your goal for 2020? When you decide, write it down. Keep it somewhere where you will see it daily as a reminder. Find scripture to give you encouragement. Tell a friend so you have support. Most importantly, acknowledge those little steps you make toward your goal.

I wish you a happy new year filled with joy, peace, and contentment!