All I Want for Christmas

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and for many people (mostly males) that means the start of buying Christmas gifts. Some people have had their gifts purchased and wrapped for weeks. Others are still finding that last minute gift. I don't have many presents to buy because we don't exchange gifts with all the family anymore. We get together and enjoy each other's company. To me, that is the best way to spend the holiday.

My entry in the Christmas Sweater cookie decorating contest

My side of the family has been getting together on Christmas Eve since I was in Junior High. It's evolved from getting gifts for everyone (remember I have 5 siblings!), to drawing names, to only getting gifts for the little kids, to doing Dirty Santa. We are at the age where we go get what we need or want. We like to spend time catching up and playing games. This year we changed our tradition. Instead of Christmas Eve we got together today on a Sunday so everyone (almost) could come. We made an extra effort to be together this year because we know that we aren't promised a next Christmas. We had fun playing games, decorating cookies, and eating. This special time is what Christmas is about.

When I was younger my list to Santa was always full. I usually got some dolls or toys, along with the clothes that every child knows will be there. As I got older my list got shorter. In the past few years I was fine if Maddy didn't get me a gift for under the tree. (Okay, confession time: I usually bought some things I wanted and wrapped them.) He would sometimes surprise me with something I didn't know about, but not often. When he would ask me what I wanted for Christmas my answer always involved time with him. I wanted a weekend away or to splurge on a nice hotel. I wanted to do things together and for him to make an effort to be with me. Those were the best gifts! The memories and feelings of those times stay with me and mean more than a new coat or jewelry. Those times helped to strengthen our marriage and make our love deeper than before. We had time to talk, laugh, dream, and just be together.

Since Maddy's funeral I have had many people comment on the relationship he and I had and how they don't have that with their spouse. We didn't always have such a close relationship. We had to work at it, and one way we did that was by spending time together. If you want to get better at anything you have to spend time at it. A marriage, or any relationship, is no different. If you want to be closer to those in your life, take the time to develop that bond. Putting God at the forefront will provide the glue to keep those bonds tight.

If you are a procrastinator and don't know what to get your spouse, parent, child, neighbor, sibling, or friend, give them the gift of time. Build that relationship. Play a game. Share a story. Listen to a memory. Fix a meal. Be present in someone's life.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)