Remodeling

Back in January I began a process that continues to this day (late August)...home remodeling! Having built the house in 1996, it was time. Maddy and I had talked about how to redesign the kitchen for years.

I met with a contractor and went back and forth on plans for the kitchen, to start. I had a few rooms, plus all new flooring and a few odds and ends to get done. Once the cabinet design was finalized, I was told work would start in March, give or take. Well, give or take lasted until the beginning of May. Actually, I wasn't in a rush and the later date was better since I was almost done babysitting for the school year.

As the planning phase went on I had to choose, well, EVERYTHING! Wood variety, stain color, countertops, flooring, door style, knobs, faucet, sink, appliances, light fixtures...I was overwhelmed, especially since I was doing it alone. I did enlist the help of a few friends, but it was ultimately my decision. The headache was worth it as my kitchen turned out beautifully!

The day work began it was like a colony of ants descended on my house. Several guys were there to gut my kitchen and dining room. All cabinets were removed. Appliances were taken to the garage to be sold (except my refrigerator). The bump outs that the cabinets were attached to were torn down. Tile was chiseled up. By the end of the day I wondered if I was crazy, but it was too late.

Sheetrock had to be replaced. Plumbing had to be moved. Electrical had to be moved and new lights installed. Over the next three weeks, while I converted my guest bedroom and bathroom into a makeshift kitchen, my old space was transformed into a new, more usable area.

During the next few months, the other rooms began to get a makeover. I decided to have all the honey oak doors and trim replaced, too, so no room was left out. The guest bathroom was updated and the master bathroom was gutted and reborn.

When everything is done, I plan to get new furniture and freshen up the decor to give it that final touch. Since every room had new floors or cabinets, I had to empty out everything. Things were thrown in crates and boxes, or I just relocated furniture to other rooms. During this process I did lots of purging. I got rid of things I no longer needed, didn't use, or had no idea why I kept in the first place! Letting go of some of the clutter was very freeing.

As I went through this remodeling process, I realized remodeling my house is similar to how I had to "remodel" my life after Maddy died.

The initial news left me gutted. Everything about my comfortable, "old" life was gone. It was like my heart had been ripped down to the studs. The difference was, I wasn't given a plan to follow. I couldn't see what life was going to look like or given a timetable for when it would be back to "normal".

Remodeling my life after Maddy's death has been a slow process in some areas, but other aspects were reconstructed fairly quickly. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to redo my daily routine. Everything that Maddy did I had to start doing myself. Mowing, collecting the trash, making sure the house was locked up at night, and car maintenance became my responsibility from day one. Those mundane chores that we used to split, now became mine alone. They were like the "little jobs" that can be done in a short time when you are fixing your home.

The parts of my life that have required extensive work have been a little more time consuming. In fact, three years later I'm still trying to complete the makeover. Honestly, I think this will be one of those never ending processes. The "contractor" didn't give me a final plan to work with. I'm using trial and error most of the time.

A little deeper thinking made me realize how the remodeling process is a great metaphor for our lives when we become Christians. The old, run down life that we were living should get a major redo. We should tear down the walls and fixtures that keep us separated from God and others. The sinful ways should be removed and replaced with a new focus. When you remodel and spruce up your home you don't keep the dirty curtains and door knobs, so we shouldn't hold on to the old life we had been leading. God is the ultimate contractor for our life. He holds the plans. He created the blueprint. Unfortunately, He doesn't consult with us to determine if we like it. We have to trust that He's been at this a lot longer than us, and He will choose the plan that is best for us, even if we don't think so. The Master Carpenter comes with great references!

Update: Everything was done in mid-September. We had to wait for my dream tub to arrive!