For The Record (Medical Record That Is)

I’m beginning to think there is some evil person hunched over a computer in a basement somewhere creating the most frustrating documents known to man. I can picture the hair gone wild, devious smile, menacing laugh, and the entire Igor look. These documents create fear in the one reading them, anxiety for the one filling them out, and a feeling of brainlessness for the one unsure what language they are even written in. They may be scholarship or job applications, insurance forms, loan applications, enrollment forms, or, my favorite lately, medical record forms.

Whoever created these forms needs to test them out on your average Joe before releasing them to the public. I'm sure the office giving you these documents knows exactly what they mean, but sometimes the questions can have more than one meaning. I feel the need to give a clarification. Instead of just circling yes or no I need a "well..." statement.

In the last few weeks I have filled out so many forms I can't remember the number. I don't even know how many different offices and facilities I've submitted paperwork to. I can tell you that learning your birthday in kindergarten is a skill you will use for the rest of your life! I wish someone would have told me when I was a teenager to document all the major health issues, procedures, or milestones that occur throughout your life. Also, keep a record of your parents' health history. You might want to keep a cheat sheet of your siblings' birthdays as well. I never knew I would need to know the age I had my first period or dates for every surgery I've had.

I had paperwork emailed to me to fill out electronically then email back. That would have been fine, but the form creator put the fill in blanks in places that were not near the actual answer line. And how in the world am I supposed to circle my answer when there is not a clickable choice box?!? Luckily, I'm tech savvy enough to make my own blanks and highlight Y or N. A few days after I sent the forms back a nice person from the doctor's office called me...to review my answers on the form!!!! If I was going to have to go over my answer to every question why didn't they just fill it out with me on the phone?

Each office and building is in the same provider network. They share the same database, yet I am filling out the same information on the same forms for each one. My answers didn't change. My birthday is the same. I haven't had any new surgeries. I still don't know what age certain things happen. My family history did not add any significant illnesses in two days.

It's frustrating and can make a person a little anxious.

My favorite form pile came when I visited the genetic counselor. I am having genetic testing done to see if I have a gene mutation for cancer. I knew they would need some family history, I didn't know I was going to have to consult Ancestry.com. The eight pages (yes 8) wanted my history and names and ages of my children. No problem! But, I also needed my parents' ages at death and what country their family came from before being in the United States. I have no clue! As I went on there were boxes for my grandparents on both sides, my siblings, my parents' siblings, nieces and nephews, and cousins on both sides. It asked for name, age or age at death, and any form of cancer they may have had and when it was diagnosed for each person. I never knew most of my family so I felt extremely clueless. Needless to say, I left most of the pages blank.

I also have had the joy of filing a cancer policy claim. I never thought those would be so confusing. I have called twice to speak to a representative to clarify some questions and have been told two different things to submit.

If you read my previous blog post, this is why I need my own secretary!

I'm hoping my form filling days are dwindling, but I know the oncologist's office has some in the mail for me. I think I'm going to make that cheat sheet with all the pertinent information so I won't have to try to remember it on the spot. Remembering is not a strong skill right now either!

Until I finish the last form I will just remind myself to take a deep breath, do what has to be done, and go enjoy this life I've been given!